UnNews:Career of Romero dies; returns
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
19 August 2008
SOMEWHERE AROUND PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania -- With the announcement of two new upcoming projects for 2009 and 2010, George A. Romero’s career lives once again. Believed to be dead sometime after 1988’s Monkey Shines, (despite periodic claims of sightings), the work of the famed “Dead” series director has risen, and is moving slowly, but surely, toward a theatre near you.
"The source of reanimation is unknown" according to a studio executive who refused to be named, but speculation has included “divine punishment” or that “there is no more room in development hell”. Viacom president and CEO Philippe Dauman contends we should all be cautious, but keep a level head. "Though the projects move slowly, many being killed along the way (i.e. a video game deal and a never-started feature), the majority of them do reach their destination, but only to die again at the hands of theatre audiences (see Diary of the Dead & Land of the Dead)", he said confidently.
Others are not so sure. "Often, the threat cannot be contained, as these projects manage to infect a new generation of filmmakers before their own destruction", warned Pamela Levine, Co-President of Domestic Marketing at Twentieth Century Fox. "As such, Hollywood has been overrun with Romero or Romero inspired projects of late, and it is recommended that all stay away from here".
Many encountered an interesting and new outbreak of this Romero-style infection in Britain in 2002, and then again a few years later, but mostly, this “genre reanimation” seems relegated to the west coast of the United States.
As for detecting these works, "The projects don’t make much noise, so one has to be vigilant about seeing them" warned a studio official. "Many don’t realize one is near until they are startled by it – usually in a video store or on an online video rental list". The official continued, "The local and state governments have been unable to control the spread of the infection and the federal government has shown little interest".
For his part, Romero himself has been largely silent, but says he is “pleased” at the sight of the projects, indicating he may have something to do with their re-emergence. UnNews will continue to monitor progress on the situation.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|