UnNews:Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organism to reverse Global Warming
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Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organism to reverse Global Warming
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, May 4, 2016, 21:35:UTC)(
26 July 2006
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UNIVERSITY, A Campus: Kilik Rading has just published a paper on the discovery of his answer to Global Warming. His idea could possibly net him millions in royalties, which is why the enterprising young student has already patented the idea. “It is a simple idea, one i’m only too happy to exploit for gold plated items,” explains Rading. It is a revolutionary idea to use a bioform, tentatively called a “Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organism”.
Global Warming is the major contributing factor to everything that goes wrong in the world, which some geographists say is still far too conservative. There is a general consensus in the scientific community that carbon dioxide is largely to blame for Global Warming, which is why Rading’s Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organism is the solution to a problem that has plagued humans for all of last week.
Rading has given UnNews an exclusive into the inner workings of this discovery. “It actually naturally occurs in nature, but we can grow more of these things and use their carbon dioxide filtering power.” These Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organisms can take many forms, but can be characterised by green foilage and occasionally fruit or flowers. These organisms take in the nasty carbon dioxide, and put out fresh oxygen which the humans can then breathe. Rading tells UnNews that a large plantation of these Carbon Dioxide Air Filtering Organisms can be grown on large farm-like configurations. Rading says, “Not only are these organisms scrubbing the air clean of carbon dioxide and putting back oxygen, the fruit of these organisms is tasty to eat. I particularly enjoy the spherical orange coloured fruit on a particularly leafy organism.”
Many governments around the world already have displayed interest in using Rading’s amazing findings in the war against Global Warming. However, more testing must be conducted by Rading to see that this does not have any hidden negative effects on the environment. Expect to see these rolled out by mid 2008 at the earliest.