UnNews:Captain America falls victim to Daylight Savings Time
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Captain America falls victim to Daylight Savings Time
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, November 29, 2015, 18:18:UTC)(
12 March 2007
Neighbours were shocked to discover that Rogers, age 66, was the secret identity of the beloved super hero. "I always thought he seemed very fit for someone his age, but Captain America? No way! To think I've been living across the hall from him all of these years, and I had no idea!"
Forensic experts believe that confusion over the early-onset of Daylight Savings Time may have resulted in an accidental overdose of Super-Soldier Serum, causing a fatal shock to his system. "This Super-Soldier Serum is some pretty powerful stuff anyway, but there was simply no way that he could survive a double dose at his age."
Recent reports from somewhat trusted sources are that Captain America is not the only superhero affected by daylight saving times. Word is, Spiderman can't get a spidey sense, superman is hurt by invisable kryptonite and wondermouse is wonderdead.