UnNews:Captain America falls victim to Daylight Savings Time
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Captain America falls victim to Daylight Savings Time
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 27, 2016, 06:42:UTC)(
12 March 2007
Neighbours were shocked to discover that Rogers, age 66, was the secret identity of the iconic American superhero. "I always thought he seemed very fit for someone his age, but Captain America? No way! To think I've been living across the hall from him all of these years, and I had no idea!"
Forensic experts believe that confusion over the early-onset of Daylight Saving Time may have resulted in an accidental overdose of Super-Soldier Serum, causing a fatal shock to his system. "This Super-Soldier Serum is some pretty powerful stuff anyway, but there was simply no way that he could survive a double dose at his age."
Recent reports from somewhat reliable sources report that Captain America may not be the only superhero affected by the change in Daylight Saving Time. Word is that Spiderman's Spidey Sense is now warning him of dangers which occurred up to an hour earlier, and there are rumours of other similar problems throughout the superhero community.