UnNews:Cannabis may relieve chronic sobriety
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!|
1 September 2010
HUMBOLDT COUNTY, California -- Smoking cannabis from a pipe can significantly reduce chronic sobriety in patients with no sense of fun, a study suggests. A small study of 2 people also showed improvements with sleep (sex), appetite, humor, and as a cure for work.
UK experts said the boredom relief seen was very important, and more investigation was warranted. Around 80 to 90% of people have boring worrisome lives due to problems with signaling between nerves and the funny bone - but effective treatments, besides Hemlock, are lacking.
Many patients with this type of chronic sobriety say smoking cannabis helps with their symptoms, which include being a nervous geek, an uptight suit, or a boring nerd. Other symptoms include tedium, listlessness, malaise, dissatisfaction, melancholy, depression, and world-weariness. And researchers have been investigating whether taking cannabinoids - the chemicals within cannabis that stimulates the funny bone - in pill form could have the same effect.
Study leader Dr Mark Ware said: "To our knowledge, this is the first two-man outpatient clinical trial of smoked cannabis ever reported." Clinical trials using inhaler-type devices, such as a chillum, bong or shotgun, for delivering massive amounts of cannabis should be carried out, he added.
Professor Tony Dickenson, an expert in sobriety at University College London, said a lot of patients with this type of ennui say they benefit from cannabis but there were clearly legal issues associated with self-medicating in this way, such as getting arrested.
He added the two man test was “an encouraging step forward” but further large-scale clinical trials were warranted. “There is no shortage of volunteers,” he concluded.