UnNews:Cameron declares victory in the Battle for Europe

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Cameron declares victory in the Battle for Europe

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

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5 February 2016

DavidChamberlain1

David Cameron takes in a quick blow dry before speaking to the nation.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Prime Minister David Cameron declared 'victory' in a speech on the wireless last night. Speaking on the British Empire Sky Broadcasting Network, Cameron hailed that he achieved 'all his aims' after a recent trip to Brussels, capital of the European Third Reich. He said he had 'averted a long war' that would have caused huge suffering within the British Conservative Party.

"This is the best deal I could come up with," said Cameron. "After long conversations and dinners with Herr Juncker and Mein Herring Merkel, we agreed to sign a new peace treaty between Britain and all those foreigners across the English Channel. I can see it's 'Peace of My Mind in My Time' agreement."

News of the deal was welcomed by cheering crowds under the impression they were seeing David Beckham. Cameron said the reception made him proud to be a supporter of West Aston Ham Villa. He would be celebrating with Burgundy Claret and Blue Nun when the deal was signed off in Munich.

A few Conservatives dissented from the overwhelming consensus that David Chamberlain Cameron had done a 'bally good job'. One declared opponent was Boris Churchill Johnson. He stood up in the House of Commons to denounce this agreement with the full force of his intellectual vigour. In a speech that had everyone listening Johnson said he only support the treaty with the Third EU if Cameron gave him 'the strongest visible hint' that PM Boris was a distinct possibility.

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