UnNews:Call to list US Republican Party as terror group
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Call to list US Republican Party as terror group
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, February 23, 2017, 18:36:UTC)(
30 July 2006
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip, GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK)
The GOP, which has broad popular support in the American street stemming from its hardline policies on Islamic jihadists, "rogue states" and Mexicans, has seen large numbers of its members elected to both houses of the US Congress in elections that have been widely regarded as free and fair.
Yet despite the GOP's apparent electoral legitimacy, lawmakers in other states consider its members unfit for office given the organisation's history of deadly terrorist attacks on civilian targets in Iraq, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Panama, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia and its longstanding support for the anti-democratic regimes of Saddam Hussein, Hosni Mubarak, Pervez Musharraf, Shah Mohammed Reza Palavi, Ferdinand Marcos, Suharto, Augusto Pinochet, Anastasio Somoza and others.
"It is true that they were freely elected, just like my own party," said Gaza Strip Hamas spokesman Abdurrahman al-Ghazi, "but it is disappointing that the American people have chosen to put in place what is in effect a government of terrorists. It is sad to say but we may have to consider imposing sanctions on this rogue regime."
"Like our movement, the Republican Party considers itself to have divine inspiration," he said. "Yet this is disproven by the example of its economic sanctions on Iraq, which doubled infant mortality, caused outbreaks of typhoid and cholera and resulted in the kind of malnutrition usually only seen during famine.
"It is difficult to have direct negotiations with the GOP -- it is like sitting down to drink tea with the man who napalmed your entire family to death. Perhaps if they unambiguously acknowledged Iran's right to exist it would be a start."
However, most Americans see the Democrats as a niche party solely interested in the narrow concerns of the lower and middle classes and short on policies for high-income tax cuts.
The UN was unavailable for comment.