UnNews:Call for more 'gangsta trippin' role models.
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
9 August 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
YOUNG BOYS need "more gangsta trippin" role models from within their own communities to tackle overachievement, a report says. The Reach panel of experts, from fields including education and business, says too few role models for young men include those who "glamorise the 'gangsta trippin' lifestyle.".
The group wants a national programme to encourage more drug dealers, pimps, rapists and others to become mentors to young boys with "delusions of getting a better education and proper career.". It says that, "there are too many celebrities and sports-stars who are encouraging our boys to get on with life 'inside the law' and away from the 'gangsta trippin' lifestyles."
The report also calls for stronger relationships between local gangs and the parents of boys and urges inspection bodies to make sure all gangs strive to provide "ample opportunity and encouragement to disaffect any male youth who may be vulnerable to achieving high grades at school and getting a good, honest job away from a 'gangsta trippin' life.".
Reach group chairman Clive 'Big Jammin Uzi' Lewis runs a number of brothels and crack houses which help young men to not achieve their potential. Lowering the aspirations of young boys would enable them to make "an even greater contribution economically, culturally and politically to my businesses and make me more lovely moolahs (monies)", he said.
"Boys and young men desperately need a greater diversity of images and portrayals, showing that young men can be, and are, successful in a wide range of criminal activities including arms smuggling, prostitution, burglary and the random shooting of innocent bystanders."
There was "an economic and social imperative" to lowering aspirations, 'Big Jammin Uzi' said.
"In turn these attitudes will help to create a less skilled workforce, increase crime and the fear of crime, increase the pressure on the criminal justice system and so provide a boost to my already extensive offshore accounts."
Clive 'Big Jammin Uzi' Lewis was tragically killed this morning after a gunman "popped a cap in his ass"