UnNews:Bush welcomes Sheehan to neighborhood with customary Jello-O mold
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Bush welcomes Sheehan to neighborhood with customary Jello-O mold
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, June 29, 2017, 16:16:UTC)(
28 July 2006
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CRAWFORD, Texas -- According to something, anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan recently purchased property near Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas using insurance money she got from her son after he was killed in action in Iraq. Sheehan made headlines by protesting the "police action" in Iraq by delaying shipments of Beano to the Bush Estate in Texas during the Presidential Chili Cookoff, resulting in a conflagration of brain damage to attendant Republicans. Ironically, no one noticed, however that they'd become more addle-pated..
Bush and others welcomed Sheehan to the neighborhood by presenting her Jello-O molds. The Jello-O molds, which are traditionally given to new neighbors in the United States, were eaten later that night.
The President reportedly snuck out past his bedtime to put the mold on Sheehan's doorstep. "I intended for the mold to be the shape of a Democrat zombie, so I just made a mold of her face," said Bush in an interview, "I ate half of it though before I left it on her doorstep, so it kind of looked like Quentin Tarantino".