UnNews:Bush weighs options for third member to the Axis of Evil
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Bush weighs options for third member to the Axis of Evil
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, November 28, 2015, 08:28:UTC)(
11 October 2008
WASHINGTON D.C, USA - During a surprising announcement this morning made by President George W. Bush, he announced that North Korea will be removed from the Axis of Evil list that was invented by President Bush himself. "North Korea's leader, Kim Jong Il has shown over the course of the last year that he is not nearly as insane or unstable as he has wanted the world to believe for years. That is why I have made the decision to demote him to the title of 'Minor Annoyance' to free up room on the list for more deserving countries. Countries that are much more unstable, like Syria, Cuba, or France. Especially France."
Bush has begun work on his short-list for a possible candidate to fill the missing spot on the roster. Heavily urged by the United States UN ambassador, he has put Syria, Cuba, and Libya on the list, as well as some not so surprising decisions, such as his previously mentioned France, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein, as well as the Italian island of Sardinia.
Many world leaders however are not very pleased with President Bush's decision. Silvio Berlusconi, the Prime Minister of Italy was the first to voice his opinion to the world. "This is an outrage! How could Mr. Bush take North Korea off of the list and possibly replace it with Sardegna? Italia has many much more unstable regions than Sardegna! Why Sardegna? Why not Tuscany, or at least Sicilia? They would be much better candidates for this!"
Kim Jong Il is not pleased with the announcement either. "I spent years making myself look as insane as I possibly could in the eyes of the modern world," he said in a special 90 minute TV movie aired in North Korea, just hours after the announcement. "I can't help but feel that I have been robbed. The world feared me, and my instability, and that American Scum just took it all away from me with one announcement! I feel that a part of my soul has disintegrated in front of me. I am so mad, I just might have to launch a nuke into the ocean to ease my pain."