UnNews:Bush vows to make change
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Bush vows to make change
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 3, 2015, 11:58:UTC)(
19 April 2006
WASHINGTON -- Over a rabbit barbeque this weekend with the Cheneys, Bush discusses career moves with Dick. Looking forward to life without Dick and the White house, Bush intends to make a career move into banking.
Cheney describes Bush's plan as forward thinking and extremely thoughtful. Since, all he ever wanted to really do was make change in the White house while he was there, the move to making change on a daily basis at a bank should be an easy move.
Bush says he considered gas station clerking and taking money at the bowling alley cash register, but that just wouldn't be the same. "I'm the decider and I decide what's best."
Recently, Natalie Portman has accepted the job of OMB chief of staff and said, "yeah, I like to make change just like the president, so I accept the Oscar nomination for the OMB."
Cheney also added that UnNews misreported that he had accidentally shot the Easter Bunny this weekend, and that he demanded an apology from UnNews. "After all, we needed some fresh meat for the barbeque and I intentionally aimed for it and bagged the little bugger."
Bush had no further comment.
- "Yuri" of the former KGB