UnNews:Bush vetoes 2009 pullout

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5 May 2007

WASHINGTON, D.C.--President Bush has vetoed a bill that would require his extrication from the White House in early 2009. Commenting on the legislation, which passed in both the House and Senate in late May, "it purports to direct the conduct of the operations of the war in a way that infringes upon the powers vested in the presidency by the Constitution, including as commander in chief of the armed forces." The war he is referring to is no doubt the one between Democrats and Republicans that has caused widespread destruction in Washington's Green Zone, that is, the White House lawn. Mr. Bush, in referring to the armed forces of the Republicans, neglected to mention that Democrats also have arms, except when they are amputated off by a Grue. Such Congress-people should consider themselves very lucky to have only lost their arms. Bush and his allies have been conducting house-to-house searches for Democrats, but have encountered resistance in the form of IEDs (Improvised Expletive Deletions). Saying that the deadline for his extraction from the White House is unfair, Bush contends that he'd be more accepted if he "got in a wheelchair." His ratings then plummeted as various handicap rights groups changed their opinion of him. Now, anyone who likes Bush is mentally handicapped.

Former White House resident Bill Clinton said experience had taught him that "a premature withdrawal can have very serious consequences". He recommended that Mr. Bush "stay in until the job was done".

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