UnNews:Bush says it's "Fine" if voters dislike his positions

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bush says it's "Fine" if voters dislike his positions

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

UnNews Logo Potato
Friday, August 18, 2017, 05:35:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

19 August 2015

Jebbers

The candidate of high standards is proposing that the nation adopt the lowest-ever standards for a Presidency, and even for a Bush Presidency.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presidential candidate Jeb Bush told voters who object to his signature support of the Common Core curriculum standards, "Fine. Have it your way."

"Clearly, low standards, you know it — that’s what most states have had," stammered the Republican Party front-runner. His campaign is appealing to businessmen at the Chamber of Commerce who want a ready-made supply of well-educated workers — mostly comprising Mexicans overstaying their visas.

In fact, none of the four states checked by UnNews interns mandates that its schools have low standards.

Speaking of Mexicans, Republican candidates are flipping like jumping beans between promising high standards for schools and promising to stop Washington from dictating to them. Common Core, under Bush fils, who is now Bush frère, was called No Child Left Behind, one of his most hated laws. Teachers were adamant that trying to test whether they were doing anything would make them stop doing it and instead teach students to pass the test.

Heil Hillary

Clinton also touted high standards, telling #BlackLivesMatter that she does not hope to "change hearts" but just crack the whip harder.

This means that any attempt to measure would compel teachers to game the measurement. In a similar vein, Hillary Clinton, the likable and inevitable Democratic Party nominee, has demanded that the Department of State seize her server and publish all her erased emails, none of which were classified at the moment she wrote them. She thus becomes the most prominent candidate in terms of keeping candidates from acting corruptly and especially against obstructing justice.

Common Core is not a national curriculum, just as current proposals for Mexicans are not amnesty. It was not devised in Washington but abroad, and Washington does not require local districts to adopt it, but merely dangles money in front of them and reminds them how painful it would be for them to lose their grants.

Bush's latest push for good results from the educational bureaucracy under the huge Department of Education rulebook resonates with his earlier call for the economy to grow at a 4% clip without ever saying how. This makes him a "results-oriented" candidate. Bush's capitulation on Common Core means he may be ready to follow Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders to a #BlackLivesMatter meeting to promise that African Americans will enjoy results at least 4% more positive even when trying to wrestle away a policeman's service weapon.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects