UnNews:Bush marks 9-11 anniversary during golf game
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Bush marks 9-11 anniversary during golf game
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, August 18, 2017, 20:33:UTC)(
11 September 2008
SILVER SPRINGS, MD (UNN) - President George W. Bush today marked the seventh anniversary of the infamous terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 by taking in a round of golf at the Glengary Public Golf Course in suburban Washington D.C. today.
"This is a solemn day, but a good day for a good walk spoiled. So I'm here today on the links with three average Americans for a day of reflection and hopefully a couple birdies," said the President.
In past years the President has participated in memorial tributes to those Americans who lost their lives in the attacks, however in this, his last year as President, Bush took to the links.
"Americans lost their regular way of life that day; its time to - WHOA, will you look at that shot! Way to hit that ball Beanie you nasty son of a bitch! Wasn't that a helluva shot guys? As I was saying, its time to try and infuse our lives with a little normalcy."
Despite invitations to the memorial services in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, New York City and at the Pentagon, Vice President Dick Cheney also resumed his regular past-time of lurking behind a lace curtain in the second floor window of the Vice Presidential residence in northwest Washington.
"Oh he's up there all right," reported a security guard at the British Embassy which is located next to the residence. "If you look up there, you'll see the curtain twitching nervously; thats Cheney's modusoperendi, or they've let the budgie loose in the house again."
Sources report that Osama Bin Laden who has been hiding in Libya marked the anniversary, which is known in Muslin circles as "Osama's Fuck Up", by playing backgammon with his host Muammar al-Gaddafi.