UnNews:Bush Loses Lucky Penny
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Bush Loses Lucky Penny
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, August 18, 2017, 12:58:UTC)(
25 May 2007
Washington DC - In a tragic event Sunday morning, President George W. Bush lost his lucky penny while jogging around Washington DC. While passing 9th and K streets, the penny was jarred out of his sweatsuit pocket and fell down into a sewer drain. Six secret servicemen assigned to the President tried for approximately one hour to gain entry into the sewer system to retrieve the penny.
A Bush administration spokesman issued this brief statement about the event: "President Bush is at a loss today, he has had that penny since he was five. He found it in the sands by his family's home in Kennybunkport, ME."
In a possibly related incident, Vice President Dick Cheney said that the decision of whether to goto war with Iran or North Korea next is currently up in the air as The President cannot, at this time, decide which country poses the bigger threat.