UnNews:Bush Calls U.S. Constitution "Naive"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
19 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Washington, BC- In response to a Federal Judge's ruling that his warrant-less surveillance and wiretappings were illegal and unconstitutional, President Bush held a press conference at his personal retreat.
"Now look, here's the Constitution, it was written 200 years ago. They didn't have this kind of a threat. They didn't have to be adaptive. They made all these restricting rules, and there's no way to change it. It is out of place in this century, in this fight. Al-queda doesn't care about it, so we can't either."
As if to underscore Bush's point, Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga) added, "If the appeal continues and this decision's upheld, then we'll have to set policy that does comply with the Constitution. This takes away a vital tool in our war on terror. If we cannot sink to the level of Stalin and Hussein, how can we fight back?"
The White House's argument in support of the program is that Mr Bush's role as commander-in-chief of US forces gave him, "the inherent power to violate not only the laws of the Congress but the first and fourth amendments of the constitution", according to White House Spokesman Tony Snow.
In unrelated news, Federal Judge Anna Diggs Taylor was killed in an automotive accident involving three black limosines and one battered pick-up truck.