UnNews:Bush: Congress is really ticking me off
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Bush: Congress is really ticking me off
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, October 24, 2016, 20:13:UTC)(
30 October 2007
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush called a special press conference today to let Congress know that they "are the worst congress in history."
"You guys are really starting to tick me off," Bush said.
"Ever since you Democrats gained control of Congress, you've thinked of ways to ruin my reputation, while at the same time boosting your own." Bush was visibly upset during the press conference, and blasted the Democratically Controlled house for "wasting my time."
"Congress thinks they know everything. Right now we could be helping childrens improve their literacy level, but instead Congress keeps trying to pass votes to get our troops out of that one country we declared war on a few years back. They are just wasting my time and theirs as well."
Bush criticized Congress for wanting to "pass dumb laws that I'm just going to veto." He also went on to say "Why do they keep trying to get me to do things when I could be vacationing in Crawford. I haven't had a break in almost two and a half days."
Sen. Jim Long, D-Tennessee, later made a comment saying, "President Bush's attempts to stir the pot today reminds us that we have elected a complete idiot as president. The man was barely able to compose a complete sentence, and as expected, the rally never took off. His speech reminds us that the congressional Republicans will go along with anything Bush has on the agenda, even though it's field with vacation days."
Bush fired back to Sen. Long soon after by saying, "Hey man, why do you Democrats keep trying to get me to provide free health care to children? Since when do kids need health care? Don't you realize that the average human life-span is over 40 years old and growing more bigger each day? Americas children have at least 25 years ahead to be healthy and prosperous. We could be spending this money on more important things, like funding for the war, we are so close to winning. But then again, thats what I expected from you Democrats, always looking at the big picture, and never taking time to check out what's important now, here in the past."
President Bush concluded the speech by saying, "I am going to veto every law these Democrats try to pass until we can get some actually smart peoples up here in Congress. Until then I am going to show them who the boss is and that is me."