UnNews:Britney Spears Yawns
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Britney Spears Yawns
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, February 20, 2017, 06:33:UTC)(
21 August 2008
BRITNEY SPEARS'S HOUSE, BRITNEY SPEARS LAND - It was a normal day for the paparazzi, who were breaking numerous laws regarding personal space and stalking. It's okay, though, because they were after a celebrity. Britney was feeling a bit bored, while taking a shit, and she began to stretch her legs. She then gave a tired yawn. The dozens of reporters in her bathroom gasped. "This is the most exciting thing to happen since last week, when Britney coughed!" exclaimed one excited journalist.
The video of Britney Spears yawning has gained 500 billion views on YouTube, becoming the most viewed webpage of any kind. "This is a truly the most exciting moment in history!" exclaimed one reporter. "This is a way better use of our time than writing articles about climate change, our country's recession, or the recent rise in school shootings!" Other celebrities are trying their own attempts at gaining this success, such as sneezing, burping, and farting. None, however, have gained them the fame that Britney Spears has achieved. Britney recently won Time Magazine's Person of the Year award, beating out that one guy who finally got gas prices lowered. BORING!