UnNews:British man takes 132-pound crap, sets world record

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21 October 2013

Crap-art

You decide!

WARSAW, Poland -- Keith Williams went to Poland for his 56th birthday and set a new world record for the biggest giant crap by a human being in recorded history. One hundred thirty-two pounds — pretty heavy for a turd. But that’s what it took for Keith Williams to set the new world record for largest crap ever pinched.

"Look at that puppy. Well, it’s actually a pile of poop, but you know what I mean." Williams, the happy crapper said in Poland while celebrating his 56th birthday. It reportedly took him 25 minutes to completely pass the giant stool pile.

Setting a world record on your birthday — probably a pretty decent gift and something Williams told his wife ahead of time he could see happening. Williams is from Great Britain, and he told his wife he could feel that he was going to pass something extraordinary.

Williams is reportedly taking the record from Terry Mather, who is known for his 116-pound giant crap, the same type of Psyllium seed husks laden loaf as Williams squeezed off.

Despite the prediction, the new record holder says he was in complete shock of his pile, saying he never would have imagined a crap that size in his wildest dreams.

Well, guess that makes it more than a dream come true. But until the Book of World Records approves the giant pile of crap, Williams’ world record won’t be completely official.

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