UnNews:Britain considers outcomes under Proportional Representation
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Britain considers outcomes under Proportional Representation
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Thursday, March 22, 2018, 01:07:UTC)(
9 May 2015
LONDON, UK -- Political analysts are already speculating what the outcome of the recent British general election would have been like if the system used was proportional representation instead of first-past-the-post voting. Using the D'Hondt system, they have discovered the horrifying truth that if the election were to have been carried out with proportional representation, the United Kingdom would now be sitting under a Communist regime.
The Communist Party of Britain may have only put 9 candidates forward for the election in a bid for 650 seats but with each candidate roughly obtaining 100-300 votes, this would have added up enough to give the party a 412 seat majority in the House of Commons under proportional representation, an unprecedented majority in British political history.
"This just goes to show that our party election campaign was not using scare tactics at all," commented newly-elected MP Boris Johnson, "There was a real threat of a Communist government bringing financial ruin to this country. And that is why us and the Labour Party have repeatedly argued for first past the post voting as it keeps these people out." The Conservative Party has no plans to reform the voting system in the UK during their term in office as they don't want to leave Britain under the grip of another Lenin.
The Communist Party of Britain, have unlike other under-represented parties, not taken up the call to introduce a proportional representation voting system to the British Houses of Parliament. Instead they argue that if the Communist Party were to win all the seats, things would be a lot fairer and they'd even be allowed to put forward common sense policies such as banning all the other parties.
Under proportional representation the Green Party would have obtained 32 seats, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party would have got 2 seats, the Cannabis is Safer than Alcohol party would have got 6 seats and the Let's Replace Swearwords with "Bottom" and "Willy" Party would have enough seats to form an entire opposition cabinet. Political analysts agree that if Britain had let this election result take place through proportional representation, there would have been no chance of a better future for Britain at all.