UnNews Special —
2016 British secession vote

A newsstand that's brimming with issues

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Friday, February 15, 2019, 07:45:59 (UTC)

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Philip Hammond
LONDON -- British finance minister Philip Hammond reassured Britons that the UK will step in to provide a full measure of bureaucratic idiocy formerly provided by the EU that will strive to be every bit as nonsensical as the European government was.

It will cost £4.5 billion to replicate the EU's Byzantine permitting processes and subsidies, but the government will find the cash — though not out of the payments to Brussels, for which Britain remains on the hook. Given that the UK paid £13 billion to the EU last year to achieve that £4.5 billion, the new total cost is £17.5 billion. Full story»

ROME, Italy -- Britain is under serious threat of becoming a balsamic state, after Italian prime minister Matteo Renzi vowed to “build a new dietary partnership” after Brexit.

This followed intimate talks with Prime Minister Theresa May about sausages and anginas. Full story»

UnNews Logo Potato1IT'S DONE
LONDON -- The Leave campaign has won the referendum and the UK will quit the European Union, after 40 years of squabbling and free limousines.

God, as always a stalwart for Remain, strategically flooded London just as the polls opened. However, enjoying live footage of the Environment Agency's office up to its windows in sewage, the rest of England gleefully ticked the other box. Full story»

LONDON -- In the wake of the vote to leave the EU, ministers across the UK have started to prove their mettle in “steadying” the ship in the face of stormy seas.

The SNP have commenced touting unity in Europe as a reason to leave the UK, Nigel Farage has accused the EU of being bone-idle, the Labour party is being held hostage by activists and Boris has bugged out altogether. Full story»

Hard for Europe - Enda Kenny
DUBLIN, Ireland -- Eire's Enda Kenny says that he wants to avoid an exit of his green island from the European Union, as it means he will then have to actually run it. His master plan is to enter the United Kingdom, a step that he calls Brentry.

Mr Kenny envisaged that the name of the new nation could be the European Union of Great Britain, and that it could have a common currency, which he proposed to call the euro. Full story»

Janet Yellen
UnNews Logo Potato1REACTION
NEW YORK CITY -- Wall Street traders contemplated Friday's drop of 5% in the stock market — and did it again.

The rout is not a reaction to Brexit — which merely replaces debate over Union with louder and higher-pitched debate — but to Obama's declaration, earlier this month, that a Britain outside the E.U. would be too piddling a nation to trade with. Full story»

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