UnNews:Breakthrough science could save society
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Breakthrough science could save society
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, July 1, 2015, 19:48:UTC)(
16 August 2007
PALMERSTON NORTH, NEW ZEALAND - A recent breakthrough in psychology was discovered by pure accident during a psychology lesson at a university. This new discovery, codenamed "common sense", has the potential to save society.
The original catalyst was a question: "If you are a parent, and you give your child everything they want, will your child misbehave at school?" The response was "Yes". This breakthrough response created a phenomenon that could soon save society.
Further research into this brand new field shows a highly promising potential. One of the new theories discovered using common sense is the possibility that the parents are to blame for misbehaving kids. Another theory is that the way to stop bullying is to get rid of the bully, not the victim. On top of that, there is a third theory, using this new method, that telling a little kid which knows no English to not put that knife in that wall socket, will not work.
However, many politicians disagree with this new discovery, saying that it was "politically incorrect" and "threatening to the Labour government". Sue Bradford commented, "Thith dithcovery will cauthe a thubthanthual mathhhive outbreak and will cauthe parenth to beat their thhildrenth, whithh meanth that there will be ecthethhhive light thmacking."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|