UnNews:Bread Companies Under Fire by NAACP
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Bread Companies Under Fire by NAACP
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, March 24, 2018, 06:49:UTC)(
14 March 2012
BALTIMORE, Maryland -- A group of activists claiming to be with the NAACP have raided grocery stores throughout Maryland, buying all packages of bread containing the words "white", "caucasian", "white", "blanca", "virgin", "white", or "caucasian", taking them to secret bread extermination camps, and disposing of them in cruel, unusual ways. Many citizens are concerned that they may have to go without bread, eat cardboard, starve, or worse, buy wheat bread, until the attacks are over.
Baked goods icon Little Debbie, when asked about this new form of food genocide, had this to comment:
"I ain't never had this much money before. Momma gonna be so proud; I think she just glad I ain't no prostitute or somethin' like that."
When asked to comment, Barack Obama stated:
"I don't know why you stupid journalists keep asking me about executive NAACP decisions. Just because I am black and have power doesn't mean I am an NAACP leader. How stupid are you journalists? Really."
Analysts have predicted that the NAACP will continue their campaign for equal food rights with a white rice holocaust, a mass milk murder, and working until they have reached the goal of water being served in brown paper bags nationwide.