UnNews:Bogus cubic zirconium found containing real diamond
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Bogus cubic zirconium found containing real diamond
Straight talk, from straight faces
Saturday, May 30, 2015, 10:38:UTC)(
19 March 2013
WARSAW, Poland -- Findings released earlier this month by the Polish Rhinestone Society (PRS) show that the so-called “genuine cubic zirconium” you think you’re wearing might be the real deal. And that is a let down for synthetic gem aficionados and lab made puritans alike. The Rhinestone protection group says New York retailer, Century 21, did not properly advertise Marc Jacobski’s costume jewelry to specify whether it was real imitation or genuine fake.
No one from the Rhinestone Society would give us the time of day, but we did receive a copy of the heavily redacted PRS report on the less than pure synthetics: “In conclusion, sixty percent is synthetic zirconium, thirty nine percent is amorphous glass, and one percent real diamond. The label says that it’s made in China but that doesn’t account for the patches of real gem. And what can actually be seen here is one percent natural gemstone.”
The report went on to claim that most genuine CZ aficionados reject the fraud. Well, at least those who are flat-out opposed to Mother Nature and her abominations, such as natural blood-diamonds, uranium, volcanoes, and mosquitoes.
In layman's terms this means that the synthetic cubic structure making up the crystal of the suspect Rhinestones contains a tiny 1 percent of natural structure that is distinguished by being made in nature and not by man.
The study concluded that the presence of these natural pollutants greatly detracts from their man-made beauty. At least they are diminished to the extent of one percent of their synthetic glory.
So how does this all translate into dollars and cents?
The report advises, “The only difference between a bogus and real synthetic CZ is the finite presence of natural diamond molecules that account for 1 percent of the total Rhinestone - therefore a 1 percent price reduction variant should be taken into account when buying these imitation synthetics.“
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|