UnNews:Bloke not telling 7-Eleven clerks about armed robber any more
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Bloke not telling 7-Eleven clerks about armed robber any more
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 22:47:UTC)(
9 February 2012
SOUTH YARRA, Australia, GNN (Goanna News Network).
SOUTH Yarra bloke Brent "Potato" Couchman last night decided to stop telling local convenience-store clerks about the armed robber known to police as "The Mummy".
"Anyway, when I was drunk last night and went over to the Caltex to buy cigarettes I started telling the new guy at the counter about the Mummy and he got all weirded out and said that the 7-Eleven down the street just got knocked over (robbed) the previous night."
"When I saw he was so freaked out I thought, well, you know, it probably wasn't worth telling him about The Mummy or whatever. But then again, it might save his life. "
"Jesus, now I don't know what to think."
Couchman last changed his policy about what to tell local store clerks after he sort of unintentionally frightened a teenager who was working in his local bottle shop.
"Yeah, that was funny," Couchman recalled. "I was absolutely shitfaced drunk and I went in there and bought a bottle of tequila and a bottle of margarita mix. As the kid was ringing it up on the till I said to him 'Do you know that it's a criminal offence to supply alcohol to a person who is already intoxicated?' and he was, like, 'Um ... No?', and I was all like "Well, I know because I'm a police officer -- and I'm drunk!"
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|