UnNews:Black Hole discovered in Uncyclopedia, causes a rip in QVFD
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Black Hole discovered in Uncyclopedia, causes a rip in QVFD
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, March 23, 2017, 00:37:UTC)(
5 November 2006
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Uncyclopedia, The Interweb
Physicists all throughout the globe were shocked today to realize an amazing truth: an indisputable proof that Black Holes do in fact exist.
It all started as a seemingly small wiki glitch that caused QVFD's November 4th to go unaccounted for. Annoyed Uncync officials looking for the bug were amazed to realize that they are, in fact, harboring a miniature Black Hole within the QVFD page.
"It all began when we went into the QVFD" stated a Uncync official "And I send Jonny to check around the atomic clock to see if we have a bad connection or something, and then the fucker just disappeared! I immediately called Bob. I said - BOB! WHERE'D JONNY GONE TO?! and he looks at me and says - WHO THE HELL IS JONNY?. And he looked completely serious as well. I sealed off the QVFD hall immediately and told the human resource people to page Jonny, and they said - WHO THE FUCK IS JONNY? Then I really started to suspect that we have a problem".
An emergency HazMat team immediately dispatched to the scene discovered an amazing truth: a miniature black hole next to the QVFD causing a major rip in the time-space continuum.
"The problem with those nasty rips" said Uncync's head of HazMat, Famine, is that as soon as it swallows something it is as though it never existed. Hence, November 4th never happened and that poor sod, what was his name again? Jonny? Was never born. Who? Jonny? Never heard of him".
In great rejoice Uncync declared an international physics convention to be held in the QVFD hall, to show the world it's new toy - the miniature black hole who swallowed November 4.
...But then again, November never had a "November 4" did it?
And so, after nothing really happened and November 4 never existed in the first place, this article is completely pointless no?
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|