UnNews:Bin-Laden advises Jihadists to warn authorities
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Bin-Laden advises Jihadists to warn authorities
Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out
Saturday, August 27, 2016, 15:21:UTC)(
6 March 2010
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In view of recent acts of violence and attempted violence by individuals whose parents had warned authorities in advance, Big Man on Arab Campus Osama bin-Laden published a new directive to al-Qaeda terrorists, instructing them to take advantage of this evident "safe harbor."
The man who opened fire in front of the Pentagon on Thursday had become so erratic that his parents reached out to local authorities weeks ago, warning them that he was unstable and might have a gun. Earlier, the father of the Nigerian passenger known as the Pants Bomber had also warned American authorities that his son was unstable.
In a tape broadcast on Al-Jazeera, Public Enemy Number One advised his troops to have a parent, or an elder who might pass for a parent, go to the local American Consulate and warn the Ambassador that the terrorist is a terrorist and at imminent risk of committing terrorism. "This seems to be the one clear way to divert the attention of Homeland Security," said the al-Qaeda leader.
The tape marks a change in strategy. Previously, bin-Laden had encouraged all Jihadists to enroll on the U.S. Passenger Watch List to totally avoid scrutiny at airports when attempting to enter the United States on a mission of mayhem.