UnNews:Bill Clinton’s name in geriatrophlic ho pimp’s diary

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bill Clinton’s name in geriatrophlic ho pimp’s diary

Where man always bites dog

UnNews Logo Potato
Saturday, March 17, 2018, 20:47:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

10 January 2015

Clinton zero snatch

Clinton swears by the number of times he has had extra-marital affairs

PALM BEACH, Florida -- A new lawsuit has revealed more details about former President Bill Clinton’s friendship with a geriatrophlic prostitute pimp who was jailed for having mercy-sex with a great-grandmother. The suit included the fact that Clinton’s name was listed in the man’s digital history a total of 277,185 times.

In the civil complaint, octogenarian Gandma Moses alleges that billionaire pimp Lord Epstein used her as a sex slave for two hours. She claims Epstein made her have sex with his political pervert friends, including occasions with British royal, Lord Christopher Monckton. The lawsuit also reveals Clinton took thousands of trips between 2002 to 2005 to the billionaire’s private harem in the Caribbean, where fat, overage women were reportedly kept chained to a wall.

Clinton severed his connections with Epstein once allegations over his illegal behavior surfaced and he was arrested. Court documents indicate there are over a quarter of a million phone calls and emails leading back to Clinton, though there is nothing to suggest the former president is linked to Epstein.

Unnews asked Dennis Hof – owner of the Sunset Geriatrophlic brothel in Nevada, who knows Clinton – if there is any way the former president was unaware of what Epstein was doing. “I never thought that Bill Clinton would ever want to be involved with old hags,” Hof told us. ”Especially considering he's married to one.”

The complaint seeks to expand an ongoing lawsuit and lawyers for Grandma Moses floated the possibility of subpoenaing Clinton because he “might well be a source of relevant information” about Epstein’s activities.

The rape allegations first came to light when Palm Beach police acted on a complaint from the grandchildren of a 94-year-old lady who told them that a wealthy younger man might have had inappropriate sexual contact with her. The lady – and other elderly women as well – said a friend had arranged for them to visit the home of the man, identified as Epstein, and give him gum-jobs in exchange for cash. The old ladies were paid $200 or less.

“I give Bill Clinton a little bit of a pass,” Hof said, “because [Epstein] had other parties after this all happened, and who went to them, Macaulay Culkin, Jared Leno, and Woody Allen – which is not a good sign, I guess. So it could be that Clinton did know about this!”

edit Sources

Personal tools