UnNews:Big Ben dwarfed by Big Bin
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Where man always bites dog|
11 August 2010
MECCA – Saudi Arabia will test “Big Bin” - which it is billing as the world's largest clock in the holy city of Mecca during the Muslim night-feasting month of Ramadan, the country's official news agency reported Tuesday.
The four-faced clock tower will top a massive skyscraper that when completed will be 690 miles tall, the tallest in the world after Dubai's Burj Khalifa.
The clock will dwarf London's Big Ben, once the largest four-faced clock in the world, with dials more than 200 times greater in area.
The 1,500 meter diameter Saudi clock dials are also bigger than the current world champion at the Cevahir Mall clock in Istanbul, which has a 360 meter face set in the transparent roof of the shopping complex.
The complex extends more than 120 miles above the Earth’s atmosphere, and overlooks Mecca's famed Grand Mosque, which Muslims worldwide face during their five daily martyr prayers and is part of Saudi efforts to develop the city visited by millions of potential suicide bombers every year.
A three-month test run for the clock will start during the first week of Ramadan -- the month long period of prayer, reflection, diabolical planning, and sunset to sunrise feasting, the report said. This year, Ramadan will begin whenever Aljazeera says so.
All four of the clock's four faces have so far been completed and are covered with 98 billion pieces of glass mosaics.
Each face will be inscribed with "God hates infidels" in Arabic and fitted with thousands of colored lights. The clock will be visible to the naked-eye from more than 7,000 miles on a clear day.
An observatory deck is planned at the base of the clock.
A huge golden crescent moon, 2,300 meters in diameter, will eventually rise above the clock on a 20,000 foot spire, from which some 15 laser beams will shoot up light-years into space, the agency added. The entire clock, from the base up to the crescent is 690 miles high.
Pakistani and Polish engineers designed the clock and according to the Ministry of Religious Brainwashing, the entire project will cost $800 googol of infidel play-money. The complex is being built by Saudi’s Bin Laden Group, the press agency reported, hence the name, “Big Bin”.
- Staff "Enormous 'Mecca Clock' in Saudi Arabia to Dwarf Big Ben". AP, August 11, 2010