UnNews:Barrymore faces more questioning on "not actually being very funny, ever"

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10 September 2007

10092007

"Would you like to see my swimming pool?"

Police have been given more time to question Michael Barrymore over the allegations that he has never been "very funny" and that (aside from a few senile old ladies) the vast majority of the UK populace found him to be a "sycophantic twat".

The 155-year-old (alleged) television entertainer is in custody in Harlow police station after answering bail on Monday morning. He was originally questioned in June over the suggestion that his long and varied entertainment career was a catalog of "undiluted turd juice that was about as funny as finding out that a long lost brother had drowned in a silage pit whilst buggering a sow."

Barrymore's famous 'Awight!' catchphrase has been cited as central to any future prosecution. He would regularly 'pad out' an act with the tiresome 'Awight at the back? .... Awight at the front? ... Awight (etc)' for anything up to sixty minutes. As many as twenty people were driven to nervous breakdowns as a result of this turgid shite and in one performance two even (allegedly) hung themselves!

Barrymores insipid inuendo based "comedy" has also landed him in hot water. During a show in Torquay, he suggested that a member of the audience, Ms Wideole, was "having a affair with the milkman".

"The thing is, I was having it away with my milkman," Ms Wideole said, in an exclusive interview this morning, "and my husband went and shot him the next morning with his shotgun. That Barrymore really is a prize twat of the highest order!"

The case comes a week after Jim Davidson was questioned over allegations that he was "a ginger haired homophobic, sexist racist c*nt."

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