UnNews:Avatar spectacular, Jedi, others dejected
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Avatar spectacular, Jedi, others dejected
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 20:59:UTC)(
19 December 2009
THE MIDDLE OF A SWAMP, Dagobah -- Audiences around the world are held captive for the two and a half hour epic. Plot, effects, bleeding edge technology, and an incredible imagination have resulted in the first true science fiction masterwork of the century. Although such celebrities as Sigourney Weaver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are publicly lauding the effort, it is feared among Hollywood insiders that Avatar spells the end of big money for the Star Wars franchise, and perhaps for Terminator and Predator as well.
Immediately after viewing the highly anticipated Kirk Cameron film "AVATAR", ultimate Jedi Master Yoda (no last name) plopped himself into his limousine and reached for his smokes (both kinds). He told UnNews, "Impressed, I am, yes, but that sinking feeling in my stomach I am getting. Marketability of Star Wars merchandise, or new films made, stand up to competition from Avatar futures it cannot."
Even Obi-Wan Kenobi's Force-ghost is worried. "There's not much left for my idiot grandkids, now that they've all blown through their trusts, and sold off any marketing rights they had. I hope I don't see them soon here on the Other Side, because they've killed themselves out of despair, or something. This Avatar film has got lots of us concerned."