UnNews:Australian bureaucrats reaping covert fellative bonuses
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Australian bureaucrats reaping covert fellative bonuses
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, December 1, 2015, 18:24:UTC)(
2 January 2008
Assistant Treasurer Dick Ironbar said public service chiefs have been told that they and their staff are eligible for free fellatio in the new government's grand expansion of public sector largesse and waste.
"There are lots of very hard working people ... working 12 hour shifts in factories as well who would love to have their cocks sucked at the end of the day, I am sure. Screw them. It's our turn now," Ironbar told Sydney radio 2UE.
The most recent budgets produced in Parliament showed that bureaucrats will spend $95,451,342 in public money on "rub downs" in 2008. While not all public servants are eligible for the perk, those that are will spend an average of $176,847 for the year.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has established a task force to increase sexual activities in a public service that he said became "horny" during the previous government's 11-year rule.
In a separate development, peaceful demonstrations throughout the USA are calling for similar perks for bureaucrats there. "This could become an issue during the upcoming election," warns Diipthrote Swordswallower, a spokesperson for the Russian School of Ballet. " History teaches us of a constitutional crisis and impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton, all precipitated by his wife's refusal to suck his dick."
- AP "Australian government cuts free massages for bureaucrats". CNN, January 2, 2008