UnNews:Australia to Aborigines: 'Sorry for the killing and the stealing and stuff'
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
14 February 2008
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
"The apology itself is just symbolism," said noted scholar Brooks Arthur. "It's what follows that counts." Australian officials have promised that this is only the first step in what will be many gestures towards the Aborigines. Among other things, Australia will have a skywriter spell out "We're Sorry" and will have a bouquet of Daffodils, their favorite, delivered to the Aborigines. "There's really nothing they could do to make up for the fact that they killed my great-great-grandfather and stole his land," said Aborigine Mikjita Lowhandu. "But the flowers really were a nice touch."
"We're very serious about this," said Rudd. "We may have raped their women, but the power of forgiveness overcomes all." Aboriginal rights groups, such as Aboriginal Rights Now, have immediately ceased all protesting following the heartfelt apology from Rudd. While Aboriginals remain disenfranchised in Australia, the groups noted that the apology "warmed the cockles of [their] hearts" and "the 'sorry' means everything to us."
"Still, there's a long way to go," said Arthur. "The Aboriginals deserve, at the very least, some compensation, and at best, all of their land back." When reached for comment, Rudd noted that "there's no need to be hasty. First things first. And this apology, it's a very good first thing."
- AFP "Apology to Aborigines hailed as historic shift for Australia". Google News, February 13, 2008
| Quasi-Featured Article (2 March 2008)|
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to several votes being devoured by a Yue, it didn't make the cut (9.5/17). Don't let this happen again! For just pennies a day, you can prevent another travesty of this nature, or vote for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.