UnNews:Athlete stripped of medal at the European Athletics Championship
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Athlete stripped of medal at the European Athletics Championship
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 3, 2015, 02:52:UTC)(
31 July 2010
BARCELONA, Spain -- Renowned steeplechaser Arya Iranparast has been stripped of the gold medal he recently won at the European Athletics Championship here. Officials at the Championship announced that Mr. Iranparast is not Norwegian as he had claimed, but actually Iranian. This follows the Wednesday controversy when javelin-thrower Chen Zhongwen had to admit he was not Italian after his roommates heard him talking in his sleep--in Mandarin.
Irish Minister of Sport, and a top organizer of the Championship, Mr. Sunko McStunko said, "As everybody is aware, the sheer quantity of competitors led to mass stampedes at the middle distance events last year at the European Championships in Portugal. The Organising Committee restricted this year's competition to athletes from European countries only, to limit the numbers to reasonable levels. In the case of Iranparast, a random passport check revealed his true nationality. We have also been inspecting the athletes’ meals to check for spicy ethnic food, and asking them to sing their respective national anthems to check for unusual accents.”
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