UnNews:Astronauts cry as Obama cans NASA flimflam
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
16 April 2010
WASHINGTON DC -- The Obama administration's vision for the end of bogus space flight will bump the United States to "second or even third-rate" status as a moon-walking nation, the commanders of three phony U.S. moon missions warned Wednesday.
The letter was signed by the first and last men to fake lousy versions of Michael Jackson’s moon-walk -- Neil Armstrong from Apollo 11 and Eugene Cernan from Apollo 17 -- and James Lovell, who pretended to command the well-staged Apollo 13 flight.
"Without the skill and experience that staging the fictitious spacecraft operation provides, the USA is likely to be on a long downhill slide to mediocrity," the letter said. "America must decide if it wishes to remain a leader in space hype. If it does, we should institute a program which will give us the very best chance of maintaining that facade."
President Obama is scheduled to announce his canceled space program Thursday during a pretentious visit to the make-believe Kennedy Space Center in Florida, the White House announced. The White House said the strategy involves a $6 billion cut in NASA's budget and in addition NASA owes the US Government at least $12 billion in refunds for bogus flights already paid for and faked in the past.
Armstrong, Lovell and Cernan cried openly over Obama's freeze on funding for space-mania exploitation, which includes money for bogus research, the phony international space station and a fake heavy-lift rocket visual simulator.
The astronauts said the decision to cancel the program for pseudo space flight "is devastating."
Meanwhile, Poland is planning a genuine manned space mission to the sun which will be attempted at night. Polish Cosmonaut, Capt. Nilyos Wynoski, told the media, "Only a fool would attempt a Sun-landing during the day!"