|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
29 December 2008
For the past couple of days, IT guys have been frantically trying to solve the Y2K-IX bug. Y2K-IX stands for Year 2009, when Windows computers will fail because they will not be able to change into 2009 due to time-shifting incompetence.
Y2K-IX, if not fixed, will ultimately result in all Windows computers' hard drives simultaneously exploding starting at 12:00 A.M. (0:00 for our International friends), January 1st, 2009. Anything on the hard drive will be lost. It is advised that you should back up your hard drive to an external one, just in case. That disk might explode also if infected with the virus.
"We hope to get the problem fixed by January 2nd or 3rd.", says some IT guys. "The world will be ridden of Y2K-IX soon."
"Y2K-IX will cause mass destruction and the utter loss of the digital age. Your family, GONE! All of your financial information, GONE! Your Windows computer, GONE! Technology, GONE! Everything, GONE!!!", says a doomsday dude on Y2K-IX.
"Even though the IT guys claim they have fixed Y2K-IX, do you really trust them? Just be prepared, transfer everything on your Windows computer to a Mac. Besides, it would benefit the entire world if Windows was destroyed.", said a spokeswoman for Apple.