UnNews:Apple removes app due to pornography concerns

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Apple removes app due to pornography concerns

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25 January 2013


Steve Jobs is watching you masturbate from beyond the grave

Cupertino, California, -- Sources report that Apple has removed a photo sharing program called 500px from its app store today over concerns about pornography. According to Apple, the application allowed users to easily access pornography.

The move comes as a shock to many. One loyal Windows user, Archibald Luddite, was shocked, "Since when do you need third party programs to access pornography on a computer? Don't these things come with web browsers? On a windows PC, once you have an internet connection, all you need to do is open Internet Explorer, download a real browser like Netscape Navigator, and search for "boobs". How hard could that be? This is why I will never buy Apple products."

Other users were equally infuriated. "What is point of having an IPod if I can't look at boobs?" said John "Johnny" Young, who reportedly recieved on iPod this christmas. "I might as well have gotten a generic mp3 player. Now I'm going to have the family laptop to look at boobies like my father's generation used to do back in the day. Its like I'm living in the freakin' dark ages."

There was, however, some support for the measure. "I, for, applaud Apple for preventing the spread of this smut," said Dorothy Prude. "Just think how horrible it would be if people could use the internet to spread naughty pictures. Do you know how easy it would be for everyone, even children, to look at indecent pictures. Why, even my great grandson Johnny could be looking at at that trash right now. I'm sure glad nice, family friendly companies like Apple and Wikia are keeping the internet clean for everyone, so it can be used to looking at funny cats and pictures of one's great-grandchildren like it was intended. By the way, would like a hard candy, sonny?"


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