|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
In a dramatic move to dominate the market of household electronics Apple, the popular and somewhat garish computer company introduced its revolutionary product today, the iRon G4. The first iRons should begin shipping early next year.
UnNews sources confirm that iRon's internal components include a brand new (NOS) G4 CPU (Which is thought to have ran at 900 Mhz), 64MB RAM and a blazing fast ATI Radeon 6500 with 8MB of Video RAM, making it the world's fastest ironing machine. It also provides variable heat for a wide range of fabrics from silk to burlap via the jog shuttle control.
The second-generation iRon (still in development) is thought to include 4 Nvidia GTX480 GPUs, 2 Intel i7 980X CPUs, 24 GB of RAM, and pretty much every other top-of-the-line part you could imagine. The GPUs had to be clock-locked at 50MHz each, to keep the surface temperature of the iRon below 920 degrees C. Estimated cost: $165,000. The second generation's colors have not been leaked yet, but they (like every Apple product) will be anywhere between the day and a month before release.
The iRon, the first Apple-branded iron, will be available in four color versions which are aimed to correspond with the popular and now obsolete iPod Minis - bright violet, funky purple, girlish pink and glorious reddish-blue.
To avoid disappointment, Apple recommends immediate pre-order purchase of the iRon with a pair of iScissors, an iShoehorn, and the complete line of iDiot home products (sold separately, batteries not included).
Apple also planned to release the all-new iBrator next month.
|iPods:||iPod - iPod Shuffle - iPod Mini - iPod Nano - iPod Yocto - iPod Lo-Fi - iPod floppy - iPod chair - iPod Car - iPod Slim - iCan't Believe It's Not iPod - iCan't Believe It's Not Butter|
|iDevices:||iMac - iPad - iNuke - iRon - Apple Watch - iMath - iHamster - iRaq - iPoop - iOwa - iRak - iRan - IEye - iBladder - iClothes - iBrows - iRack - iDiot - iCarly - iBauer - iWeapon - iSland|
|iHardware:||iGraters - iSpell Key - MacBook - Euroipods - triPod - ehPod - YouPod - IHenge - iEarth - iPhone|
|iSoftware:||iTunes - iMovie - iLinux - Mac OS X - Mac OS 10.5 - Mac OS Y - Mac OS Z|
|i3rd Party Mods:||iPod Nano 200gb Instructions - iTrip - iHack|
|iOthers:||Neuroipods - iFraud - iCult|