Anthony Wiggle reveals his weight
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, December 14, 2018, 23:53:UTC)(
22 November 2018
Sydney, Australia -- The Wiggles, Australia's most beloved children's rock and roll band. But after over 25 years of eating nothing but giant loafs food, Blue Wiggle Anthony Field has still somehow stayed fit. This has caused a lot of debate since the 90s of what Anthony actually weighs. Finally, after all these years, the Wiggles have revealed Anthony's real weight.
These questions first began as early as the Late 2000s. Murray Cook, the Red wiggle, claims that "Even though it has been the same since 1997-ish, things really got heated in 2011. We get into our recording studios and Anthony always eats the food that we've planning for others. After this, he just wants to eat more, until all the food is gone. Once the guests have arrived, we have a bit of a party and Anthony just wants to play games because he's eaten all the food. Just imagine that feeling that everyone else has at him.".
The Yellow Wiggle has also had a problem. Greg claimed that "He was always just lying. He always thought my magic tricks were dumb and stupid and he even tried to pull pranks on me.". Sam added "I don't even know what was wrong with him, he just kept doing those stuff as if he had a fetish or something.".
Perhaps the weirdest story of them all was from Purple Wiggle, Jeff Fatt. He claimed that "We were doing a television show episode about Musical Instruments. Abruptly, Anthony came with a giant sandwich he was eating. We asked him why he was eating a meal THAT big, but he said that he still didn't have diabetes which wasn't true. We then started filming. Dorothy and Henry were making Cookies and Milk at Wigglehouse. No-one was eager to finish it in 10 seconds except for Anthony. After finishes the cookies and milk, Anthony loudly asked Henry to do all the work and make 10,000 more cookies. Henry then tried but after 5 minutes he only made 184 cookies. Anthony then punched in the face and Dorothy intervened against Anthony. As children were watching the live footage, Anthony were in a fight with Henry and Dorothy and somehow won. Before we knew it, milk and chocolate were all over the kitchen. We still didn't get rid of him even after that because we couldn't.".
After asking all of the Wiggles how much Anthony weighed, only Anthony himself could say. He said "Well, I'd say at least 4,000 pounds".