UnNews:Anna Nicole Smith dead, other stuff also probably happening
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Anna Nicole Smith dead, other stuff also probably happening
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, May 30, 2016, 16:38:UTC)(
23 February 2007
It has been discovered that the wealthy hustler had an opiate in her refrigerator! And I bet she even overdosed on that opiate, and that's why the miserable and balls-rich bimbo passed away! OMG! It is predicted this story may continue for months, as finding out the penile origins of her newly shat-out daughter is a pressing news story which may take some time to come to its final result.
Other stuff is probably going on in the world too, with bombs, or state-sponsored torture, or something like that.
In related news, Mother Nature's attempt to maintain cosmic balance resulted in the birth of a retarded horse.
- CNN "How to use a Shit Metaphor, to set up a Meaningless Story!". CNN, February 22, 2007
- CNN "Anna's Body Goes Through Expectable, Routine Post-Rogor Mortis Procedure". CNN, February 17, 2007