UnNews:Ann Coulter no longer man trapped in woman's body

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6 June 2006

Infamous conservative author Ann Coulter has gotten a man made out of her, says the Liberal York Times.

The author of such anti-left books as How to Tell Liberals Where to Stick It recently underwent a sex-change operation at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Shortly afterward, Coulter legally changed his given name to Al.

"The one slightly valid argument liberals had with me was the fact that I was a working woman with no husband and no children, engaged four times but never married, who frequently spoke out against feminism," Coulter wrote in his online column on Wednesday. "So I decided to take that argument away from them. Now I'll no longer have to be plagued with the question, 'Are you really a man?'.

"I will have to dispose of all my miniskirts, which I'm surely going to miss. And I'll probably have to start eating more than 600 calories a day. But it'll be so worth it, just to see those leftniks squirm."

Fellow conservatives enthusiastically supported Coulter's crusade to take away the "one decent polemic liberals have", according to Sean Hannity, co-host of Hannity and His Little Helper Whose Name is Colmes.

"I always knew that the woman had balls, and now she has a d*** to go with it!" crowed Hannity during last night's episode of his (and Colmes') show. "Liberals don't have a prayer. On the other hand, since they've never had a God, not much will change."

U.S. President George W. Bush agreed, saying, "It's a great day for conservatizers across our great nay-shee-un."

Liberals, on the other hand, were understandably shocked upon hearing of Coulter's decision.

"I'm ashamed to have to share a first name with this woman — no, man — well, whatever she is," remarked Al Franken, author of Men are From Mars, Rush Limbaugh is Really, Really Fat. "I'll be discussing this in further detail in my new book, Lies and Lying Liars Who Lie While Lying About the Lies of Liars Who Lie About Lies."

It is expected that Franken's new book will end up on the Liberal York Times best-seller list along with Coulter's upcoming sixth novel, which is reportedly going to be about his post-op experiences and "psychotic, sanity-deficient, liberal femi-nazis who don't have a clue".

He added that the working title of this book, which will be released on March 8, 2007 — which, coincidentally, is International Women's Day — is Nuts.

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