UnNews:America files for divorce from GOP
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America files for divorce from GOP
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 31, 2015, 05:27:UTC)(
8 November 2006
As recently as 2004 the US gave no hint of marriage problems. However it is rumored that America was displeased that the GOP allowed their children to fight with the neighbor's kids. Sources close to the US also note that the GOP's addiction to Indian gambling was a concern for America. Additionally, America had expressed that she felt like the Republican party was constantly spying on her.
In a press release, The United States said, "I simply felt that we were no longer right for each other. I need a spouse who respects me."
"Also, I am trying to find a way to get the GOP's father to move out" she added.
The Republican Party could not be reached for comment.
The divorce papers state the day of separation as January 3, 2007.