|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
4 January 2010
WASHINGTON DC -– America is in shock after hearing the message that all American politicians have now become DJ's. Why they decided to make this change can only be speculated, but what is obvious is that the broadcasting of music will never be the same. The majority of people in the nation have expressed their outrage at this massive change, but no one seems to be able to stop it. And this strange broadcast even now spreads across the country, much like an infection.
The pressure put on people due to this new policy is enormous. People who traditionally couldn't dance are actually not feeling good, while others feel great but find the constant movement exhausting. This new world isn't free of controversy, either, as all eyes look to these new political DJ's and see whether they will do as they say, or if they will only sit behind their microphones never dancing themselves. Some honest DJ's are living up to their promises, moving just as much as their constituents. Others, while they say they are dancing, can produce no proof.
As many have seen in the media, these non-dancers claim that the application of this new policy is really up to interpretation. While it is true that they aren't dancing as vigorously as their opponents do, they do keep one foot tapping at all times, which in their view technically qualifies as dancing.
What will happen in this brave, new world in which the politics of dancing rules? Only the future will tell.