UnNews:Allen headbutts Macaca
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Allen headbutts Macaca
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, July 5, 2015, 22:06:UTC)(
17 August 2006
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REALVIRGINIA, USA -- Senator Gorilla Allen headbutted a white monkey....
A hue and cry followed the event. When queried, Senator Gorilla clarified, "I got really frustrated with the racist attitudes of really rural america. I really never -- really! I really mean that, ok! -- expected this in virgin America. I wanted to bang my head against a wall. This white dude in a yellow shirt looked like a wall to me. I didn't know what "yellow" actually meant. I thought it meant "blue" -- at least that's what my mom told me. Well, maybe she was color-blind but it was never my intention to insult colors. I realized this soon enough when i saw two black buttocks shimmer in my line of vision. I ran towards them but they disappeared. I swear those were yellow walls -- but, of course, I now have no proof."
The video and audio were instantly telecast and within hours they became a controversy. Some real virgins from North America demanded an immediate apology from the media for having misspelled Senator "Godzilla's" name as "Gorilla." But, all acknowledged, it was too late to change Google's cached memory. The media was quickly forgiven. Later in the day, Senator Godzilla issued a press notice blaming his North African mama for having named him so ambiguously androgynous and hypocrticalistically opportunistic with a rurally exploiting proclivititty for divisively digusting people to narrow racistic end with moneys full of pockets laughing to the bank of embezzeled laundryificating dollars ishtolen from realistic innocent people with no brains or times to but laugh at racistic jokes-are-us.