|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
6 April 2010
NEW YORK, New York -- International fugitive A. Hitler was spotted today ordering pizza and a draft in Manhattan today by local handyman Roy Kundlich. The dictator, mass murderer and author of the highly praised novel "Mein Kampf", was caught on cell phone-camera by the observant New Yorker on his lunch break.
Kundlich talked of his encounter with the notorious H at Benito's World Famous Pizza and Ethiopian Restaurant. "I seen him at the counter, pointing at the ovens, asking for a couple of slices with pepperoni and sauerbraten" he told UnNews. "It wasn't until he asked for a liter of beer that I realized he was a foreigner, and I snapped his pic, just in case. Some of them Europeans are in league with the Arabs, you know?"
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|
The Austrian-born megalomaniac has been on the run since the summer of 1945, when he fled Germany for parts unknown. The Israelis pursued him tirelessly but fruitlessly over the years, hoping to avenge his wartime faux pas's against Jews, and humanity in general.
Interpol caught up with Mr. Hitler at his rundown flat, somewhere in Brooklyn. Apparently he was making a living as a street portraitist, where he sold the occasional piece to moronic tourists and mentally challenged sanitation workers.