UnNews:Al Gore poised to win Oscar for "Best Vice President in a Movie"
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Al Gore poised to win Oscar for "Best Vice President in a Movie"
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, February 26, 2017, 02:18:UTC)(
25 February 2007
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Hours before the start of the 2006 Academy Awards Ceremony in Los Angeles, former Vice President Al Gore was already celebrating with friends at a local vegan cafe. Being the only nominee for this year's "Best Vice President in a Movie" award, he is guaranteed victory.
Mr. Gore is nominated for his riveting performance in the global warming documentary "An Inconvenient Truth," which was also nominated for best musical score. This is the first time a Vice President has starred in a feature film since Dick Cheney's role as one of the villains in 2002's "Fahrenheit 9/11." Even Mr. Gore is in awe of that classic performance by Mr. Cheney, saying, "I cannot even compare my own acting skills to that of Mr. Cheney, who is able to portray pure evil so well that one sometimes wonders if he isn't evil in real life." But the Vice President quickly added, "Nevertheless, I think my acting talent is superb and I am well-deserving of this Oscar."
Asked what he plans to do with the actual statuette he will receive, Mr. Gore promised to melt it down for heat, thus saving some precious fossil fuels from being burned and harming the environment. This is in stark contrast to what Mr. Cheney did with his 2002 award - he had it fashioned into a golden rifle with which he later went quail hunting.
The always-cheerful Mr. Gore said that with his new movie career doing so well, he is no longer disappointed about losing the 2000 presidential election. "If I had won," he correctly points out, "I would not have been eligible for the 'Best Vice President in a Movie' award, and as everyone knows the 'Best President in a Movie'" award is notoriously difficult to win." The latter award is perennially grabbed by Venezuelan president/actor Hugo Chavez, and occasionally by North Korea's Kim Jong Il for his traditional propaganda films.
Al Gore promises to make another movie "in the near future." Anonymous sources say he has always wanted to make a "modern reinterpretation" of the classic film "Apocalypse Now." Others say he may make an animated feature film, on the heels of his success with the South Park episode "ManBearPig."