UnNews:Ahmadinejad Plans Foiled Again
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Ahmadinejad Plans Foiled Again
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, November 29, 2015, 17:09:UTC)(
6 July 2009
TEHRAN, IRAN-- Authorities apprehended Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad after they were contacted by a group of teenagers. The authorities arrived on the scene to find Ahmadinejad bound with a tire around his arms and midsection and his body covered in molasses. The teenagers had supposedly constructed a booby trap and lured Ahmadinejad into it, capturing him.
Ahmadinejad suffered no severe injuries, except maybe for his pride. "I just don't get how a few teenagers could take down an entire government by making some sort of hack job trap, with a half baked plan, and no welding, construction, masonry, or crafting experience what-so-ever," says officer Jake Bromack.
We attempted to interview Ahmadinejad, but he went into a fury when asked about his "plan." All we got were malicious, distasteful shouts of, "CURSES, FOILED AGAIN!","ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME!",and "I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE MEDDLING KIDS, AND THAT DOG TOO!!"