UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Happy new Jewish year
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
21 September 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
NEW YORK, New York -- Standing (aprox. 1.4m) tall in the UN's general assembly hall, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad smiled his famous smile while concluding his speech:
"As always, I would like to end this speech with a special dedication to my Zionist friends. Fear not, you are always on my mind. I am well aware that you shall be celebrating your new Jewish year this Saturday, the year of 5767. And so, I'd like to convey my most sincere wishings: may you have peace and quiet. May your life be full of joy and happiness and may all your wishes come true. I wish you nothing but the best and riches beyond your wildest dreams. Know this, do not believe what your leaders tell you about me and my intentions, they are nothing but honorable. May you have a grand year and may we all meet soon in the garden of eden."
"And as parting words allow me to quote one of my favourate joyful poets:"
| And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted- nevermore!
"Thank you!" concluded the president to the thunderous sounds of a standing ovation.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|