UnNews:African Airlines Pilots Quit
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African Airlines Pilots Quit
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 05:54:UTC)(
7 September 2008
KENYA, Africa - Pilots of African Airlines, Kenya, Africa's leading airline, have submitted a press release which reads; "We quit, we friggin' quit, this is ridiculous." The otherwise generally patient pilots, known for their professionalism and courtesy state this in response to the latest in a stream of what they call "hazardous flying conditions for ourselves and our passengers." "We refuse to compromise the safety of our customers, we will not do it." says First Captain Eliud Ramana. "We have a duty to our customers as well as a responsiblity as Kenyans and as adults. We will not fly under hazardous conditions and in our judgement what we see here is considered to be without a doubt a flight hazard."
It is unclear to UnNews reporters what exacly the pilots 'problem' is. Certainly flying is one of if not THE most hazardous ways to fly. Second, sometimes one has to adapt, be flexible, and roll with the punches like everyone else. It is this reporters feeling that the pilots are way out of line and quite frankly "Big babies, Waa waa waaa! Go cry to your wittle Mommies!". <ahem>
Listen you jackass reporter." continued a pilot. "We didn't spend all these years studying and practicing and reading to have some idiot reporter question our assessment skills!" "Oh YEAH?!" replied this UnNews reporter. "Well I didn't spend 9 years in Community College for no bubthing either!" "Look at the PICTURE!" "No! You and your stupid pictures! Always with the pictures! How do I know that whatever photo you come up with isn't fake?!"
Of immediate concern to Kenyan's is the holiday travel season. Ramaddan is underway and flights to and from the Holy City of Mecca have been cancelled or at best, rerouted. El Al has considered filling in the missing flights. The Governor is working with the Pilot's Union toward a quick alternative.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|