UnNews:20 injured in Montreal college shopping spree
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
20 injured in Montreal college shopping spree
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, November 28, 2015, 04:04:UTC)(
14 September 2006
Montreal, Quebec, Canada - Police report at least 20 people being injured. The shopper was reportedly killed at the scene by police. Students told reporters that they heard several shots in the building at about 12:45 local time. One student told a local radio station that she saw two people who had been shot, including one who was hit at the neck. The student said a friend told her four people had been shot in the ass.
Thousands of students fled the building, and the area has been cordoned off. Nearby Plaza Alexis Nihon and Westmount Square were evacuated and the Green line of the Montreal Metro was shut down between Lionel-Groulx and Peel. Police officers wearing bullet-proof vests continue to storm the college and gunning down free ranging shoppers. "They're telling me, 'Go the other way, lady, you're in the line of fire, what are you American?'" said CBC News reporter Nancy Wood, who reported from the scene.
Police have reported that the situation has been neutralized as of yesterday. Police have been told to stand down and are no longer looking for new victims to shoot.
Earlier reports suggested that there were between two and six shoppers, however, reports are generally that there were two, maybe three. Police have only confirmed that there was one shopper, who was shot dead about 50 times "after police intervention,". They will not say anything about shooters until after happy hour.
Eyewitness reports say that the shopper was wearing all black, with combat boots and a black trench coat. He or she also sported a short blonde mohawk.
Up to 2000 shots were fired over a period of 3 minutes.
Police have indicated 1700 people have been injured in the incident. CBC reports that 869 people are injured, and 2 have been killed. Montreal General Hospital officials have stated that 511 people have been admitted with gunshot wounds, 98 of them in critical condition. A spokeswoman also stated that 3000 others were taken to Jean Talon Hospital and 140 others were taken to the Jewish General Hospital. The spokeswoman went on to report that most of the injuries are to the ass and limbs, and 20 victims with an injury to the head.
- Yuri of the former KGB thanks Wikinews